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  • Au Yin Chan

The Best Heart-to-Heart Conversations Happen in My Journal

No one listens to you as deeply and openly as your journal. Find out 3 reasons you should start journaling and the benefits of your honest conversations with yourself.


Some of my favourite movies and TV shows have a theme of journal or diary writing. Bridget Jones's Diary, The Vampire Diaries, Sex and the City, Doogie Houser, and even Star Trek with Captain's Log as the journal.


There is a reason why journals and diaries intrigue us. These deep, candid conversations with our inner-self are full of emotion, drama and secret truths that we don't share with the outside world. That's why our ears perk up when a story starts with "Dear Diary..."


In my life, diary-keeping and journaling have played an important part in my self-healing and self-discovery journey.

I first started journal writing when I was 13 years old. The perfect age to start as I entered my teenage angst years with hormone-filled drama in my home life and school life. As a scrawny, flat-chested Asian immigrant girl growing up in mid-western Canada in the late 70s, there was lots of angst and drama being a visible minority as a teen.


You can find out the full story in my blog What a Lifetime as a Misfit Taught Me About How to Stand Out?


During my first school years in Canada, I was put into English as a second language class with all the other non-English speaking students in my school. There was only a small handful of ESL students and our goal was to advance into the regular English class in hopes of being accepted as normal and not second class.


I fell in love with reading in ESL. I loved being transported to different worlds and the freedom that growing my vocabulary gave me to learn even more. The more I read, the more proficient I became in writing too.


I loved the freedom of the written word where there was no prejudice or judgment of my voice on black-and-white pages. Only the power of the stories and messages that I wrote.

Once I was proficient enough to advance to the regular English class, the teacher recommended I start journaling to practice my English and to help me be more confident in my spoken English. At the time, I couldn't understand how writing in a journal would help my confidence or help me speak better English. But it did.


Being able to write my truth and have those honest conversations with myself helped me to work through so many of the insecurities that made me hold back my spoken word. I didn't know that I was practicing expressive writing or journaling therapy. But this self-care habit helped me to heal deep insecurities so that I could find my voice.


Since those early days of scribbling into my self-made 3 ring binder diaries, I have continued with my journaling on and off throughout the years. They have been especially meaningful for capturing milestone periods in my life like high school, college, marriage and becoming a parent.


Journaling has been invaluable during times of crisis like losing my mom at 20 years old, fertility challenges during my 30s, cancer in my 40s and depression during Covid-19 and dealing with Empty Nest Syndrome.


If you have ever wondered about journaling and whether or not it is for you. Or if you have lost your journaling habit somewhere along the way in the busyness of life. Here are 3 reasons why you should start journaling and the benefits you will gain.



1. Journal Out Your Negativity


On days when I feel anxious, sad or overwhelmed, picking up my pen and pouring out the negativity into the pages of my journal helped me to get on with my day.


In the evenings when my mind won't stop ruminating on stress from my day, my journal was where I deposited the frustrations and rants so that I could get a more restful sleep.


Journaling is an example of an expressive coping method that can help a person process negative thoughts, feelings, or experiences by releasing them. Releasing these things onto the page can reduce the power they have over you.


When negativity clouds our head and heart, everything is impacted like a gloomy cloud that follows us. Sometimes it's hard to reach out to talk about these thoughts, feelings and experiences because they are so jumbled together.


Benefits of Journaling Out Negativity:

  • Writing out the negativity in a journal lets you vent and express these feelings without fear of judgment.

  • Once you've released the negativity onto the page, you can begin to process your feelings in black and white and distance yourself from these thoughts and feelings.

  • After your first draft of understanding what you are feeling is done, you will be more open to sharing how you are feeling with people who care about you and can help.


"A journal is your completely unaltered voice - it's just for you. And if you know that voice, and you like it, you can bring it out to everyone else, and that's the most honest and vulnerable thing you can do."

Lucy Dacus



2. Journaling to Solutions


Life in real-time is often reactionary. It's hard to control thoughts and feelings of anger, frustration and fear when things happen to us in daily life. Even when we are super excited or happy, we can get caught up in the excitement and lose sight of objectives and goals.


When the thoughts and feelings are jumbled together in my head, seeing options, finding solutions and being logical is hard. Writing down my thoughts and feeling about situations and events helps me to calm down and process facts from feelings.


Writing down what happened and "reliving" the moments helps me to understand why I am feeling what I am feeling and often helps me to understand what my emotions are telling me.


Benefits of Journaling to Solutions:

  • Writing down your thoughts and feelings helps you to distance yourself and process them more objectively.

  • The act of putting an experience into words and structure allows you to form viewpoints and perspectives.

  • Seeing your concerns, questions, and emotions in black and white give you awareness of your needs.


"Writing in a journal reminds you of your goals and of your learning in life. It offers a place where you can hold a deliberate, thoughtful conversation with yourself."

Robin S. Sharma



3. Journaling to Self-Discovery


The number one fear that stops people from writing in journals is staring at the blank page and not knowing what to write. For me, that blank-page moment is the reason I need to journal. It's my cue to take a breath and pause and conduct a self-care check-up.


Instead of fearing the unknown, lean into it. Pause to connect with your inner self.

  • How you are feeling?

  • What's on your mind?

  • What makes you laugh?

  • What makes you cry?

  • What are you grateful for?

  • What are you working towards?

  • What do you want to remember about today?

  • What do you want to strive for tomorrow?

Over the years of writing in my journals, I can see the thought patterns that get in the way of my progress or success. I can see what I need to overcome in self-imposed limits and when I am unnecessarily second-guessing myself.


I can also see my self-improvement actions and progress. And most of all, recognize my strengths as a bold and powerful introvert such as compassion, resilience and authenticity.


Benefits of Journaling to Self-Discovery:

  • Journaling provides a much-needed pause to help us reconnect to ourselves.

  • Journaling helps us learn our preferences, pain points, fears, desires, hopes and dreams.

  • Journaling helps us to document our life evolution and shows us our life in chapters.


"Whether you're keeping a journal or writing as a meditation, it's the same thing. What's important is you're having a relationship with your mind."

Natalie Goldberg



Journals to Remember


Over the years I have collected a myriad of notebooks and journals that capture the mundane, turbulent and meaningful events in my life. I have held onto these keepsakes because they are the story of my life and moments that will fade into the long memories of a lifetime.


Now and again when I do a spring cleaning session, I will come across the box that houses my past journals and I can't resist taking a peek. I laugh at the silliness of my teenage innocence. I gush over the first time I met my husband. I cry in joy when revisiting each of my son's birth after 7 years of difficulty conceiving.


I wish they were all beautiful books, but they are a jumble of whatever notebook I found at the time. Now knowing how precious these memories are, I have been searching for journals that will make my memories a premium keepsake for years to come.


Surprisingly, there is not much in the market for premium journals that are not just expensive notebooks. So I put my design hat on and created 3 journal designs of my own with what I wanted in a premium journal that I would find joy writing in.

These journals are available on hardcover and in paperback on Amazon.com


The journals are all in full colour with a sprinkle of inspiration and 360-lined pages waiting to be filled with precious life memories. Go check them out!


Regardless of what medium you choose to journal in, I hope you do start the journaling habit. Taking the time to connect with your inner-most thoughts and feelings is an act of self-care that can help you:

  • Journal Out Negativity

  • Journal to Solutions

  • Journal to Self-Discovery

And when you do journal, remember to include gratitude and show yourself kindness and love.


"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love."

Lao Tzu



Additional articles to help you on our journaling journey:


I would love to hear your comments!

How do you like to journal? On paper or on a device?

What benefits have you experienced from journaling?

What kind of journal are you looking for?


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