Learning to let go of perfectionism and finding excellence in the process. Here are 3 ways to let go of perfectionism so you can achieve more of your best work.
I have been stuck in perfection paralysis for a month.
In my blog Build Focus, Creativity and Gratitude Through Mindful Art, I share how I reignited my artistic creativity with mindful art techniques. As a part of my creative growth, I wanted to start an art journal where I can experiment, learn and grow my artistic techniques and skills.
A month ago, I purchased a beautiful art journal with delicious creamy 100% cold-pressed cotton paper. (Art enthusiasts will know why I drool over quality art paper. 😉) I was super excited to get going and try out new techniques and play with my art supplies.
But when I opened the journal to the first pristine blank page, I spun into a perfectionism thought loop.
The first page needs to be perfect.
The result needs to be amazing.
It's such a beautiful art journal, only my best work can go in here.
My techniques are not good enough to put onto these gorgeous pages.
I need to practice and learn more before I can start art journaling.
So the art journal stayed pristine for a month. It glared at me on top of my desk, calling out to be filled. I would occasionally open the journal to admire the beautiful paper and go back into the same perfectionism thought loop. But the thought loop got worse.
You're not creative enough to fill this journal.
You're better off practicing on cheaper sketchbooks and not wasting these expensive pages.
You're just an amateur artist. You can't create amazing art journal pages like the ones you see on YouTube.
I was actually starting to feel depressed about my abilities and feeling insecure and frustrated overall. This ill-at-ease feeling was seeping into my other work and other areas of my life. I began procrastinating on my artwork projects. When I did sit down to create, I wasn't getting the results that I wanted. It even started to affect my sleep.
As someone who teaches others to ignite their creativity, I had fallen victim to "blank page paralysis".
Most of us have had this experience at one time or another in our lives. When we want to do well and impress our boss or when a project is so important to us that we want it to be perfect. We become so obsessed with the vision in our head for the perfect result that we become overwhelmed and don't know where and how to start.
So I treated myself as I would treat one of my clients when they are stuck in a perfectionism loop. Here are 3 ways to let go of perfectionism so you can achieve more of your best work.
1. Understanding Your Need for Perfection
There is a difference between the pursuit of excellence and the pursuit of perfection. In fact, we often confuse perfectionism with excellence. Here's the difference.
When we strive for perfectionism, we hold ourselves to impossibly high standards and don't accept imperfections and mistakes. The focus is only on getting the perfect result. When perfectionism standards are so unattainably high, the stress of failure can lead to many negative effects on self-worth, relationships and even your overall health.
When we strive for excellence, we are holding ourselves to high standards that stretch and motivate us to produce quality work with attainable results. The focus is on the process to achieve results. This includes learning, collaborating, recognizing accomplishments and learning from mistakes throughout the process.
An article from Psychology Today, 3 Types of Perfectionism to Watch Out For: Identify Your Type of Perfectionism and Learn How to Cope, provides a clear explanation of the 3 types of perfectionism. Understanding what influences our perfectionism loop can help us to get out of them or avoid them.
1. Socially Prescribed Perfectionists
Very self-critical and feel immense pressure to be the best.
Worry that others will reject them.
Affected by perceived external standards from family, workplace culture, society, etc.
This can result in low self-esteem and anxiety.
2. Other-Oriented Perfectionists
They hold others to high standards and can be critical and judgmental.
This can have negative social and workplace consequences and strain interpersonal relationships.
3. Self-Oriented Perfectionists
They set high standards for themselves in their lives and careers, but are able to go after their goals.
Tend to be the most "adaptive" of the perfectionism traits correlated with productivity, motivation and resourcefulness.
This can lead to overdelivering and burnout.
So when you are in "blank page paralysis", try the following:
Make note of the advantages and disadvantages of perfectionism thoughts and behaviours.
Take note of how are affecting you and those around you.
The next time you are in a perfectionism loop, look at the disadvantages list and avoid the thoughts and behaviours that lead you to them.
2. Strive for Excellence Instead of Perfection
Another way to recover from a perfectionism loop is by focusing more on the process to reach your goal, rather than just focusing on the goal itself.
When we strive for impossible perfection, our focus and energy shift toward avoiding mistakes rather than discovering new possibilities. This hinders our ability to be creative and innovative.
When we strive for excellence, we allow for discovery, growth, improvement and creativity because our energy is focused on the process and progress.
Striving for excellence is healthy because it motivates us to do our best work. Healthy striving feels hopeful, engaged, optimistic, energetic, and enjoyable. It requires us to stretch our abilities but feels satisfying and voluntarily chosen. The goals feel achievable.
To help focus on progress instead of fixating on the perfect end result, try the following:
Break down the big goal into a series of small goals.
Create milestones and checkpoints that allow you to celebrate, assess and pivot if needed.
Be aware of your self-talk and demonstrate self-compassion. Suspend harsh judgements and self-doubt.
Allow yourself to enjoy the process and recognize your progress as a part of the goal.
3. Don't Compete, Go at Your Own Pace
Not everything in life is a race or a competition.
Getting to the finish line the fastest is only important when you are actually participating in a marathon or competitive sport. Even then, athletes train at their own pace and with individual programs that suit their personal needs.
Getting the results you want in your work and your life is not a competition with anyone, including yourself.
In today's social media-saturated world, we are bombarded with curated perfect life images, posts and reels of often false perfection. It's hard to avoid because it's a part of modern communication, marketing and entertainment.
In real life, we can't edit out the mistakes or only be surrounded by the best camera angle and lighting. Remember that the next time you wish your life was as perfect as your friend's social media post.
So don't compare. Instead, create excellence in your life at your own pace.
To get on the right track for you to achieving excellence, try the following:
Set achievable S.M.A.R.T goals for yourself. Setting attainable goals will keep you from pursuing unattainable perfection.
Avoid spending excess time trying to perform a task perfectly. Set realistic time limits for tasks and make sure to follow them.
Avoid procrastination. Focus on the task instead of the end product and break it down into smaller tasks to make it more achievable.
Avoid focusing on perfecting only one thing. Pursue different things that matter to you and make you happy.
Valuing Imperfection Uniqueness
In a world that promotes perfection, it's easy to fall into the mindset of chasing after it.
Having high standards is a good thing. We all should strive for attainable excellence because it motivates us to stretch our abilities, grow and experience new things.
In the book, The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism by Sharon Martin, she eloquently explains the difference between perfectionism and excellence.
"The primary difference between excellence and perfectionism is the way making mistakes or having flaws is viewed. As perfectionists, we tend to overgeneralize mistakes and shortcomings. We take one mistake and use it to deem ourselves as complete failures or inferior. This thinking error keeps perfectionists stuck on the negatives and unable to see the potentially positive aspects of mistakes and imperfections when in reality there are many benefits to embracing our imperfections and learning from our missteps.
When we expect perfection, will inevitably be disappointed. Everyone makes mistakes no matter how smart they are or how hard they work. Instead, we should strive for excellence. Excellence is striving high, but offering yourself grace for mistakes made and things you don't yet know."
Oh, and an update on my pristine art journal...
I made a list of the things I wanted to achieve and learn with the journal and gave myself a realistic target of filling one or two pages a week. I reminded myself that the journal is my safe space to experiment and I am focusing on my learning and my progress. I am happy to report that I am now finally enjoying my beautiful journal and growing my creativity journey.
Additional Informative Articles:
Perfectionism: 10 Signs of Perfectionist Traits - Online Article - verywellmind.com
Overcome the Fear of Trying Something New - Online Article - AYCLimitless.com
I would love to hear your comments!
Where on the perfectionism scale are you?
How do you get over "Blank Page Paralysis"?
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Love to see the art works