Self-care is usually the last on our "to-do" lists if on the list at all. But if we want to accomplish our most impactful "to-dos", we need to be disciplined about practicing self-care. Here are my 5 disciplines for making daily self-care habits stick.
As the firstborn female in an Asian family of the 70s, I was taught that my role was to take care of others. I was not instilled with affirmations of what I could become in life. I was given the responsibility of looking after my siblings and household chores as my birthright duties.
This sense of duty to look after others stayed with me and self-care was an unnecessary concept for most of my life. My cultural and generational background told me it was indulgent, selfish and irresponsible. It's taken me a lifetime to unlearn the old thinking and learn that self-care is necessary and I am worthy of it.
In my blog 3 Reasons To Empower Yourself With Self-Care, I share how my lack of self-care during the busiest years of my work and family life led to burnout and a health crisis. I also share my realization that self-care empowers us to be the best version of ourselves so that we can be there for the people and goals that matter most to us in life.
For me, self-care is still a journey and discipline I am working to build and maintain.
Over the past 3 years, I have slowly established a well-rounded self-care routine to deal with increasing stressors from life transitions and our crazy pandemic times that were causing me growing anxiety and depression.
I was discovering new hobbies, learning new skills, eating healthier, finding physical activities that I enjoyed and finding ways to connect more meaningfully with friends and family. I took small daily steps but made a point of being disciplined to do at least one self-care element each day.
With more time on my hands during the various stages of Covid lockdowns, it was easier to give myself permission to focus on self-care and devote time to it daily. I could feel the improvements in my mood, energy level and overall mental, emotional and physical health.
Then as the world started to climb out of Covid hibernation and I started to get busier, I grew less disciplined about maintaining my self-care activities. One by one, they were sliding off my daily to-do list as the benefits to my overall health started to fade too.
As I work toward re-establish my self-care routine and regaining the benefits of practicing daily self-care, this week I share 5 disciplines that are helping me make the self-care habits stick.
Defining Self-Care
The WHO describes self-care as the "broad concept which also encompasses hygiene (general and personal); nutrition (type and quality of food eaten); lifestyle (sporting activities, leisure, etc.); environmental factors (living conditions, social habits, etc.); socioeconomic factors (income level, cultural beliefs, etc.); and self-medication."
Source: WHO - What do we mean by self-care - online article
The International Self-Care Foundation explains the benefits of self-care and The 7 Pillars of Self-Care with the infographic below.
The American Psychological Association (APA) defines self-care as “providing adequate attention to one’s own physical and psychological wellness” and believes the practice is so crucial that it is considered an “ethical imperative” of mental health professionals.
In my self-care journey, I have learned more about what self-care really means vs my previous misconception of the occasional indulgence of spa days and retail therapy. While self-care can include these elements, it is not an indulgence, it is a necessity.
To me, self-care is the conscious effort to make time for activities that nourish your mental, emotional spiritual and physical health.
However you define it, you can't reap the benefits of self-care unless you actually do it. Here are my 5 disciplines for making self-care habits stick.
1. Be Self-care Aware
Be self-care aware by asking yourself what you need. Self-care is called "Me Time" for a reason. The self-care activities that make us feel nourished are different for each of us.
Take time to create your personalized list of activities. You can even create a mood board filled with a collage of imagery of the activities that reminds and inspires you to maintain self-care habits.
For me, the activities that nourish me skew towards artistic and creative endeavours so I need to balance them with some physical activities for my physical health.
For my husband, the activities that he finds nourishing tend to be physical exercise so he needs to find some balance with activities to nourish his mental and emotional health.
Try using the 7 pillars of self-care as a reference to ensure that you are balancing your self-care curriculum.
Self-care activities should be things that you genuinely enjoy doing and would realistically be able to fit into your lifestyle.
2. Set Self-care Goals
We can easily set goals for our careers and in our work life, but why do we often neglect being goal oriented with our health and well-being? All the goal-setting principles and benefits that help us to achieve success at work also apply to our personal lives.
Think about what you want to achieve for your overall health with your self-care activities for different aspects of your health. The more specific you are, the more likely you will be committed to doing them.
For example:
Physical Health Goals |
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Emotional Health Goals |
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Spiritual Health Goals |
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3. Schedule It!
I am an artist and creative at heart. Although I assimilated into the corporate world well and learned to be disciplined, organized and well-scheduled in my work life, I didn't like to take the same approach to my personal downtime.
The artist in me wanted spontaneity and freedom from scheduled timeslots to allow for relaxation and inspiration. But without any direction or intention, personal downtime often went to trivial tasks that left me neither relaxed nor inspired.
You can't achieve your self-care goals if you don't commit time to do them. Block out your self-care time with the same respect and discipline that you apply to your work schedule.
Your overall health and well-being are the most valuable investment of your time.
4. Link Self-Care to Daily Habits
Our brains love automation. Activities that become daily automated habits become a natural part of our day.
If I automatically brush my teeth every morning and night as a part of my necessary daily habits, how can I make self-care actions a part of my daily necessity habits too?
Try linking self-care activities to your already established daily habits and rituals.
For example, my morning ritual includes making the bed before getting ready for my day. Since I am up and moving, I have incorporated 5 minutes of stretching to warm up my body for my day.
In my evening ritual, I put on my evening skincare before bedtime. I have extended the process to include a mini facial massage with deep breathing to treat my skin and relax my mind.
By adding to existing daily habits and rituals, the self-care activity becomes an automatic part of the day.
5. Track Your Progress
We don't believe something works until we see the proof. With self-care, we need to self-track our progress to see what's working and what's not.
Link back to discipline 1 of being self-aware and discipline 2 of setting self-care goals. Review your progress weekly and monthly.
Rate the effectiveness of the various activities you have incorporated into your week.
Note specific improvements to your overall health or the specific targeted area of your health.
Celebrate your achievements big and small.
It's important to include self-compassion as you track your progress.
There may be some days when it's hard to stay disciplined. We are only human. Just pick up where you left off and keep going.
I repeat, Self-Care is Not an Indulgence, It's a Necessity
The biggest benefit that I gained from the Covid-19 pandemic was making self-care a daily discipline. Spending time in various states of lockdown and government-imposed restrictions gave me the opportunity to improve how I spent my "me time".
As life gets busier and as I climb out of the Covid-19 cave, I need to protect my "me time" and the self-care disciplines I have built. While self-care may sound simple enough, it is often difficult to execute.
Once self-care becomes a necessary part of everyday life, you'll likely become more protective of that time and wonder how they ever managed without it.
Doing kind and caring things for ourselves helps us cope better with our daily stressors and life's challenges. It improves our overall health and enables us to experience life more fully.
Self-care is a necessity, not an indulgence because it ensures that we are taking care of our needs so that we can contribute our best selves to the people and things that matter most to us.
So give my 5 disciplines for making daily self-care habits stick a try.
1. Be Self-Care Aware
2. Set Self-Care Goals
3. Schedule It!
4. Link Self-Care to Daily Habits
5. Track Your Progress
Your health and well-being are worth it!
More helpful articles on self-care:
What is Self-Care and Why Is It Critical For Your Health? - Online Article - EverydayHealth.com
Doodling to Mindfulness,- Online Article - AYCLimitless.com
3 Reasons to Empower Yourself With Self-Care - Online Article - AYCLimitless.com
I would love to hear your comments!
What self-care activities do you do regularly?
What challenges do you have in protecting your "me time" and how do you overcome them?
What benefits have you experienced from your self-care activities?
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I do a bit of self care every night before I fall asleep. It’s main goal was to relax my mind so I could go to sleep but it became more than that. I do affirmations, telling myself that I am healthy and strong, that I am calm and content etc. A few weeks after I added the word “content“ I noticed that I was more content and therefore more relaxed and therefore happier. I was amazed that telling myself this actually accomplished it! I will read this post a few more times and add some of the things you’ve mentioned. After all, retail therapy can get expensive after a while!