A lifetime of balancing between thoughtful analysis and excessive rumination has taught me how to take advantage of my overthinking brain. Here are 3 ways to find balance and harness the benefits of overthinking.
Overthinking refers to the tendency to excessively analyze or dwell on thoughts and situations. It is generally considered to be a negative habit that can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and decision paralysis.
However, with balance and care, the overthinking brain can be harnessed to benefit daily life, and productivity and enhance the quality of relationships.
I have been an overthinker all of my life. I don't think I was born an overthinker, but I do know where my overthinking tendencies come from.
I know the exact moment that I became an overthinker. I was 6 years old, standing in a hospital hallway watching my 30-something-year-old mom being told that my father had just passed away due to complications from pneumonia.
On that day, my ability to be a carefree and worry-free child vanished.
As the eldest daughter of a Hong Kong Chinese family in the 70s, I was told from childhood that my role was to help look after the household and my younger siblings. After my father died, this responsibility was pressed into my psyche with sledgehammer blows along with condolences from relatives and friends of the family.
The decade that followed my father's death was full of uncertainty and insecurity that cemented my overthinking tendencies. My young widowed mom moved my 4-year-old brother and me to Canada in search of new beginnings and a better life for all of us.
Growing up as an immigrant and coping with being a visible minority during the 70s in mid-western Canada was hard at times. I was always on guard for the next discriminatory comment or threat.
It's not that I didn't have happy moments in my childhood, I did. But the overall theme of my childhood and youth was "responsibility" as I dutifully played my role as the eldest daughter. Always anticipating the next thing that needed to be done and the millions of things that could go wrong.
You can read about all the things that did go wrong in my blog It's Never Too Late to Turn a New Page! and Lessons on Coping With Life's Adversities.
Life seemed intent on giving me opportunities to deal with things going wrong... such as my mom being diagnosed with cancer when I was 16 and passing away from it when I was 20. And then there were my two brushes with cancer, which I have luckily recovered from. (Touch wood that I will continue to have clean follow-up checkups with my oncologists.)
With my life experience history, it's understandable that I tend to overthink and worry.
Despite my experiences, my resilience has helped me to balance thoughtful analysis and excessive rumination. In battling my overthinking tendencies, I have discovered that I can harness the power of my overthinking skills for good.
If you suffer from occasional overthinking setbacks and need some inspiration to get back on track, here are 3 ways I find balance and harness the benefits from overthinking. Perhaps they will help you find balance and strength too.
1. Objectively Deep Dive For Solutions
Over the years I have learned to recognize when I am beginning to fall into an overthinking rabbit hole and how to pull myself out. Taking a step back and objectively looking at my fears and ruminations can effectively stop an excessive overthinking episode and turn it into proactive problem-solving instead.
First, I challenge my thoughts. I question the validity and usefulness of the worrying thoughts. I ask myself if the excessive analysis is providing any real benefit or merely causing stress and anxiety.
Second, I focus on problem-solving instead. When I shift my focus to the actual problem to be solved, I can identify actionable steps to take and direct my thoughts and actions proactively.
This helps me to take advantage of my thoughtful and thorough thinking process which can lead to creative solutions and alternate viewpoints.
Overthinkers tend to learn deeply to be well-prepared and anticipate obstacles and challenges. As long as the focus is on moving toward solutions and not dwelling on fears, it can be a useful benefit to harness.
2. Sharing Vulnerability and Helping Others
As an overthinker, I tend to dwell on what others think and need before my own needs. The worry of inconveniencing or upsetting others caused me to hide my feelings and fears which resulted in me worrying in silence.
Worrying in silence can cause rumination loops and the repeating negative thoughts cause a build-up of anxiety and stress. It's a negative spiral effect.
I've learned that sharing thoughts and concerns with trusted friends, family and mentors can help to dissolve ruminating thoughts and worries. Talking it out with others helps provide fresh perspectives and outside viewpoints that help to break the overthinking loop.
There have been many instances where sharing my worries has helped to relieve others who had the same concerns. And in sharing my vulnerability, I was also able to help others with their worries.
An overthinker's natural tendency to consider the viewpoint of others makes us a good listener and sounding board. Being able to share vulnerability can help to build strong connections and trust that allow others to help us as well as for us to help them.
2. Identifying Self-Care Needs
I grew up being told to put others first throughout my childhood and early adulthood. It took me a long time to not feel guilty about self-care activities and accept that they are needed if I want to be healthy.
Being able to relax and find calm is an effective tool to help balance an overthinking mind.
Self-care activities are very personal, but in general, they should promote relaxation and rejuvenation and should be done consistently for bettering body, mind and spirit. Activities that foster mindfulness, being in the present moment without judgment, are especially beneficial in preventing overthinking and worrying about the past and the future.
Overthinkers tend to be more aware of their thoughts and emotions which makes finding the right self-care activities and gaining their benefits easier.
Self-care activities don't require a lot of time to gain the benefits. Just 20 minutes a day of exercise, meditation, spending time in nature or doing a favourite hobby will give us the relaxation benefits we need to destress and decompress.
Prioritizing our health and self-care can prevent overthinking loops and aid in recovering from overthinking habits because it regulates our thoughts and emotions.
Uncertainty is the Only Certainty in Life
The one constant in life is change and uncertainty. My life experience with the unexpected may have resulted in my overthinking tendencies, but they have also developed my resilience and ability to cope with change.
Not all problems have straightforward answers or perfect solutions.
Successfully balancing an overthinking brain and harnessing its benefits requires accepting uncertainty and acknowledging that overthinking won't always lead to a definitive outcome.
The only way to move on to solutions is to embrace the idea that we need to make decisions based on the information available and learn to trust our judgment.
Finding a balance between thoughtful analysis and excessive overthinking is a gradual process that requires patience and practice. Be kind to yourself and celebrate small victories along the way.
If overthinking continues to significantly impact your well-being and daily functioning, it may be beneficial to seek support from a mental health professional who can provide personalized guidance and strategies.
Additional articles you may find interesting:
How to Stop Overthinking and Limiting Your Potential - Online Article - AYCLimintless.com
How To Stop Overthinking: Causes And Ways To Cope - Online Article - Forbes.com
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