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  • Au Yin Chan

Defining Your New Normal: Protecting Work-Life Balance

As the world figures out the new normal for work-life balance, staying safe is more than just about protecting yourself from Covid-19. Protect your mental and emotional health by defining your new normal work-life mindset and habits.


Over the past few months, more and more of the world has been resuming "normal" life as we all move in our continuing pandemic times. I have been watching my family and friends in Canada and the US drop almost all pandemic mitigation practices and return to their pre-pandemic work, school and travel activities.


Many countries are saying "Fly again, be free! There is no need for pre or post-travel testing, no need for vaccine passports, or no need for quarantines. It's okay to live a normal life with Covide-19 amongst us."

Speaking with my friends and family abroad, I can feel their excitement and anxious hesitations about resuming normal life. The pandemic is still present. People are still getting sick. People are still dying from Covid-19. But governments and corporations have decided it's time to move on and get economies back on track.


Meanwhile, I am based in Hong Kong. We have had one of the world's strictest and longest Covid-19 mitigation mandates and restriction policies in place for the past 2 years. These restrictions had kept Hong Kong close to the China "zero tolerance" policy and kept Hong Kong safe until the Omicron 5th wave landed and crashed our health care system from February through April of 2022.


The two years of strict travel restrictions and closed borders have had a massive negative impact on Hong Kong's international business sector and tourist reliant economy. With the latest relaxation of mandates and restrictions, companies are ready to move on and get back to normal.


Client inquiries are returning for my learning and development consulting business as we return to in-class training. Corporate companies eagerly want to be back to pre-pandemic productivity levels and practices.


There is a common theme to the types of programs they are enquiring about.

  • "Do you have a training program to get employees to be happy about coming back to the office?"

  • "How can we motivate innovation and collaboration so teams can adjust quickly out of the WFH mode?"

  • "What team building programs do you have to make employees want to stay with the company?"

Companies are asking for solutions in the form of a quick and tidy workshop or team-building experience that can be done and dusted so that they can get back to their pre-pandemic ways.


Issues of employee engagement, motivation and company loyalty are not just pandemic related. They were issues that existed pre-pandemic and have been amplified as employees gained clarity on what they want for work-life balance. The pandemic has made us realize the value of life.


Employees are not content with the "Do more with less and be loyal because you're being paid." approach that many companies continue to operate with.

The "Great Resignation" movement was the employees screaming to companies "We're not going to take it!" But not everyone has the luxury of quitting their job. Not everyone can be lucky enough to work for a company that is willing to adapt and be a better employer in these evolving pandemic times.


So how can we protect our work-life balance and our mental and emotional health as we navigate this next phase of returning to "normal" life?


Here are four suggestions to help you define your new normal with your mental and emotional health in mind.



1. Minimize Your Daily Stressors Through Mindfulness


Life was stressful before the pandemic. Covid-19 added to our daily stressors in our personal and professional lives exponentially to the power of 10.


Much of the stress in our lives can be minimized by our reaction to the stressors. Think about how we typically react in stressful situations. Do we react impulsively and emotionally? Do we pause and consider how to react or even choose not to react? Can we minimize the impact of stress in our daily lives by reframing what we see as stressors?


Mindfulness at work doesn't have to be about stopping to meditate. Mindfulness at work can be as simple as taking a breath and pausing to think before acting. This is especially helpful in stressful situations where we normally react on autopilot with impulse and emotional triggers.


"Mindfulness helps us freeze the frame so that we can become aware of our sensations and experiences as they are, without the distorting coloration of socially conditioned responses or habitual reactions."

If we react impulsively and emotionally to stress, it often amplifies the stress we feel and we lose control over the consequences of our actions. If we pause to be mindful of our thoughts and emotions before acting in times of stress, we can choose actions for more desirable results.


For example, when you are behind schedule on a project:


Option 1: Emotionally Reactive

Automatically panic and franticly work on whatever task is on the top of the inbox to try to catch up on everything.


Option 2: Mindfully Proactive

Take a moment to step back, look at the tasks that need to be done and determine which are priorities that need attention first. Then organize the rest accordingly.


With Option 1, you would build stress as you tackle tasks that may not be the most crucial in getting your project done. You could even be wasting valuable time on tasks that could be delegated or saved for later. The consequence would be feeling even more stressed and frustrated as you franticly spin your wheels trying to complete the project.


With Option 2, you would gain a bit of clarity and a sense of control. Prioritizing what needs to be done first would also help you to achieve your end goal more effectively. With clarity and a plan, you would be empowered to deal with the stress of a deadline proactively.


Which option would you choose?


"We are free to choose our actions...but we are not free to choose the consequences of these actions."

Dr. Stephen R. Covey


Here is a great article on how to incorporate more mindfulness into your workday.


For more on how to find calm and focus at work, read my blog "Reclaim Calm and Focus by Taming the VUCA in Your Life".




2. Find the Value in Life Roles Outside of Work


Our role in our professional lives is just one aspect of who we are and yet it is so easy to define ourselves by the work that we do. There are many meaningful roles that we play in life that define who we are, not just at work.


Obituaries describe the recently deceased as a loving son, brother, husband, father, etc. The job title and years with a company are usually not the opening line.

Try this exercise to see if you are making the most of the valuable roles you play outside of the workplace.

  1. Make a list of the top 5 roles that are important to you in your life. Example: Son/Daughter, Father/Mother, Brother/Sister, Aunt/Uncle, Friend, Teacher, Coach, etc.

  2. Next to each role, give a rating between 1-10 (1 is low importance, 10 is high importance) on the importance of that role to you.

  3. Then give yourself an honest score on how you are doing in each role from 1-10 (1 is doing poorly, 10 is doing extremely well).

  4. Then list actions that you need to take to maintain, sustain or excel in each of these roles and how frequently you need to take action.

  5. Look at the roles where the importance rating and how well you are doing are not in sync, these are the imbalances you may feel and can be areas where you can focus on balancing first.

  6. Now schedule the activities into your calendar or write yourself visible reminders to take action accordingly. Commit to being who you want to be in each of your priority life roles.

Example:

Role Title

Importance of This Role

(1-10 rating)

How Am I Doing in This Role?

(1-10 rating)

Actions I Will Take to Maintain, Sustain, Excel in This Role

Mother

10

8

  • Spend more quality time

  • Be a more patient listener

  • Be more attentive to their interests

Leader

8

8

  • ​Be open-minded to team ideas and suggestions

  • Make time for regular status meetings

  • Recognize individual and team achievements publicly

Here is a PDF tool to help you keep your work-life roles in check.


Giving context to the value of your work-life in the bigger picture of all the meaningful roles you play in life can help balance your perspective on what's truly important. The roles we play may take on different priorities at different times in our lives, but all need a commitment of actions to maintain, sustain and excel.


In doing this exercise, I realize the importance of life roles vs work roles and how we need to balance.



3. Build a Gratitude at Work Mindset


When we change our paradigm we can change how we feel and how we impact those around us.


A gratitude mindset helps us to understand that our experiences have meaning and value even in times of stress and challenge. Training our brains to react differently and breaking the negative thought cycle can help us to react and recover better in times of stress.


In my blog "Building a Gratitude Mindset" there are I give 3 tips on how to train your brain to see with gratitude and control each day to be a better day. Here is an excerpt.


Be Aware of Your Self-talk Narrative:

The voices in our heads are the ones we listen to the most and determine our behaviour. It takes self-awareness to tune into our self-talk narrative. It takes intention and discipline to choose proactive positive self-talk in times of stress.


Say Thank You:

Whether in the workplace or our personal lives, embarrassment and ego can get in the way of truly expressing gratitude. Saying thank you builds a gratitude mindset as it makes you more aware and appreciative.


Capture Each Day's Gratitude

Build awareness of what you have to be grateful for daily. This trains your brain to look for the positives and builds appreciation. At work, this can help us to break negative criticism habits and foster better communication and collaboration.


Practicing gratitude at work helps to:

  • Foster more positive attitudes and viewpoints

  • Improves relationships and collaborations

  • Helps teams cope more effectively with daily stressors and challenges

  • Encourages optimism and engagement


“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

John F. Kennedy




4. Take Charge of Your Growth and Development


Self-development is a form of self-care. It is investing time in ourselves to pursue things that matter to us. It can be a hobby, a skill you have always wanted to learn, or even that certification you have always wanted to add to your resume and grow your potential.


In my experience with professional coaching, a reoccurring theme for client goals is to grow their abilities and advance in their careers. When asked what prevents them from growing their abilities, the response is time and resources.


Today, the options on how to stay relevant and learn something new are more abundant and more convenient than ever. Everything from books (physical, digital and audio), to online accredited courses at your own pace and of course YouTube, SkillShare and so many other course content platforms.


The flexibility of mediums and platforms for self-development means easily building it into your schedule. The cost options are just as varied from open sources to reasonable membership and subscription fees to access quality content.


Build in the self-care time for self-development and take charge of your growth and development for your career.

Staying current and relevant by updating your knowledge and skills is how you empower yourself to be resilient and agile to face future challenges.


For more tips on how to maximize your self-development, read my blog "Transform Self-help Ideas into Action".




Mind Over Matter


Pandemic life has turned my consulting business on its head and challenged me to rethink how I can do the work I love of developing others. Pandemic life has also been personally challenging and led me to depression from which I am still recovering.


While it is easier to wallow in worry and stress and surrender control of life to the unpredictability of pandemic times, it is not mentally and emotionally healthy. While we may have no control over the evolving pandemic world, we can control how we react and choose to empower ourselves to be mentally and emotionally strong.


“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

Viktor E. Frankl


We may not know where this pandemic will lead us next, but we can protect our work-life balance with a mindset and habits that protect our mental and emotional health.

  • Minimize Your Daily Stressors Through Mindfulness

  • Find the Value in Life Roles Outside of Work

  • Build a Gratitude at Work Mindset

  • Take Charge of Your Growth and Development



I would love to hear your comments!

What challenges do you face in your "new normal" work-life?

What helps you find balance?

What are the priority life roles that you commit to maintain, sustain or excel in?



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