Use the power of purpose to overcome imposter syndrome moments. When self-doubt limits your ability to be brave, find courage in your purpose to live bolder and brighter.
If you have read my blog, "Raising Generation Z", then you would already know that I have two sons studying at university in Canada. I was speaking with my younger son on our regular video catch-up call and he was excitedly telling me about his new culinary adventures and creations. He is passionately in his second year of studying culinary arts and management.
We share a love of watching cooking shows, including YouTube cooking videos. After hearing about his latest home creations, I suggested he start video recording his creations and sharing cooking tip videos with other students who now need to cook for themselves.
His response was, "Well, maybe when I have learned more and gotten more experience. Then I will have some expertise to share."
I tried to explain to him that at 20 years old, he was already a very professional young chef. And that his experience to cook for himself and his friends in university was unique. I told him he had valuable knowledge and skills that would be helpful to other young adults entering into university life and independent living.
My son's response was, "Let me research some more and consider it."
Now while there may be a myriad of reasons why he doesn't think he's ready to broadcast his cooking talent to the world, I thought his comments sounded familiar.
"I'm not good enough yet."
"I have no expertise to share."
"I learned that on my own, it's not expertise..."
These comments sounded familiar because they are the same self-doubts that I still battle with when I have a new opportunity, new idea or challenge.
We all suffer from self-doubt occasionally. It's a normal part of life to question ourselves in new situations, especially when we venture outside of our comfort zones. Questioning and analyzing before big decisions and in unfamiliar situations can help us to make the right decisions and act accordingly. It's our brain's way of assessing threats and protecting us from possible dangers.
Imposter Syndrome is when persistent self-doubt takes over and causes us to feel heightened anxiety, lack of self-worth, disbelief in our abilities and accomplishments, and even depression. Most of all, there is a lingering fear that people will see us as a fraud, not worthy of our successes or accomplishments.
It's perfectly normal to experience episodes of imposter syndrome occasionally in our lives. For example, the first year at university, the first big career position, giving an important presentation, even on a first date.
But if we let the imposter syndrome mindset take control, our choices and actions to achieve the life we want to become dramatically impaired.
I have always suffered from some level of imposter syndrome throughout my life. I am actually in the prime demographic of people who are more susceptible to imposter syndrome. What I have discovered in a lifetime of battling the self-doubt voices in my head is that they can be silenced. The secret is focusing on your purpose which gives you the courage to overcome imposter syndrome moments.
My Imposter Syndrome Coding
Studies show that imposter syndrome is more common in demographics of people who experience social stereotypes and pressure to represent their entire group. Other factors that contribute include the following:
Family dynamics: "Family expectations and the value of success and perfection in childhood can stay with an individual throughout their life."
Cultural expectations: "Different cultures put different values on education, career, and different definitions of success."
Individual personality traits: "Perfectionism can lead to imposter syndrome."
Comparison: "Playing the comparison game can lead to feeling down or inadequate if you are not achieving the same accomplishments at the same rate as others."
*Sourced from What is Imposter Syndrome - Online Article - verywellhealth.com
As an Asian Canadian woman, my cultural background, my family dynamics and my personality traits make me a prime candidate. Here's how I was coded for imposter syndrome from childhood:
Chinese Cultural Influence - Sexism and Comparison From Birth
I am the firstborn daughter of a 1970's Hong Kong middle-class Asian family. My grandmother told the 6-year-old me that she was disappointed I was a girl as they wanted a boy to be the firstborn grandchild to carry on the family name.
Growing up in Canada in the mid-70s, the small Chinese community of my home city in Alberta was very competitive. Weekly Sunday dim sum lunches meant being criticized and compared to other children as part of the adult conversations in front of their children.
In Asian culture at that time, girls were praised for politeness and compliance instead of intelligence and confidence.
These experiences are where my feeling of responsibility and the need to take care of everyone comes from. This is where the seeds were planted for my need to be perfect, compliant and politely composed at all times. This is how I learned that males were valued more than females.
Asian Canadian Upbringing - Minority Stress That Formed My Personality Traits
Alberta in the 70s was not a progressive place to be a visible minority. Discrimination and racism were a part of daily life. A sense of belonging was difficult to come by.
Assimilating into the education system via "English as a Second Language" classes created a second citizen effect and pushed me to be a perfectionist to overcome stigma.
Growing up without positive female Asian role models and mentors made it hard for me to believe in success for my future.
These experiences made me less trusting of strangers. It also made me skeptical of hierarchy structured systems. This is where my need to over-prepare and over-deliver comes from in striving for perfection to prove I belong.
Generation X "Latchkey Kid" - Family Dynamics Where Hard Work Was Expected But Not Recognized
Looking after myself, the household chores and my younger siblings were expected responsibilities for the firstborn female in an Asian family.
There was no recognition of hard work or good grades. It was expected.
There was no accommodation for personal needs and ambitions. Duty to the family came first.
Artistic pursuits were frowned upon as frivolous and time wasters.
These experiences contributed to my lack of value for self-care because my role was to look after others first. These experiences lead me to think that my abilities and accomplishments are not special and did not need celebrating. These experiences made me insecure about my creativity and artistic talent.
I am a product of nature and nurture, so these factors in my developmental years have left an impact on my default mindset and personality traits even today. Awareness and understanding of where my imposter syndrome language comes from help me to dismiss them more easily.
Understanding the roots of my imposter syndrome helps me to see through them, work through them and not be limited by them.
For the full melodrama of my origin story and a lifetime of battling self-doubt, read my blogs "It's Never Too Late to Turn a New Page" and "My Epic 80s Romance" to find out more.
To learn more about imposter syndrome, how it affects you and how to overcome it, here are some helpful articles:
What is Imposter Syndrome - Online Article - psycom.net
How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome - Online Article - PositivePyschology.com
Finding Superpower in Purpose
My personal purpose was unintentional when I was younger. I simply wanted to make life better for myself and my family, make my parents proud, and take care of my younger siblings. My sense of purpose made me bravely challenge my imposter syndrome moments to stand up to bullies, enter youth writing competitions, compete in a beauty pageant, and chase my dreams of studying fashion design.
As life progressed and got more complicated with my career and family, the nagging voices of imposter syndrome grew more cluttered in my head. I needed to clearly define purpose in different areas of my life in order to work through persistent self-doubt. What did I want for my family? What did I want for my career? What did I want for myself?
At the peak of my executive corporate career and the most important years of my role as a wife and mother to my young family at the time, I was gripped by imposter syndrome. I was lost in the busyness of my life and felt that I wasn't living up to any of my roles adequately.
At that time, my professional role was the regional leader for learning and development in a global company that was establishing and growing in Asia Pacific. It was a huge role overseeing 14 counties and regions. I felt like such an imposter as the role and the responsibilities kept on growing with company expansion.
I loved my job and helping others to find their voice and grow their talents. But I was losing my voice in the expanding company. I started questioning my value and purpose because what I wanted for my personal life was conflicting with the direction of my professional life. I could no longer see my purpose clearly.
Feeling stressed and depressed at the end of one of my frequent business trips, I wandered aimlessly through an airport book store down my favourite self-help aisle. One particular book on the recommended shelf called to me that day, "The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness" by Dr. Stephen R. Covey. The inside cover had me hooked:
"The crucial challenge of our world today is this: to find our voice and inspire others to find theirs."
Dr. Stephen R. Covey
The 8th Habit introduced me to the works of Dr. Stephen R. Covey, such as "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People". His work impacted my life so much that I brought it into my organization and even became an in-house certified facilitator for 7 years.
One of the deepest lessons I learned from Dr. Covey's teachings is to "Begin With The End In Mind". Simply put, it's starting with a clear purpose so that you can see and take the necessary steps to fulfill it. Creating a personal mission statement is an impactful tool that helped me to regain clarity on my life's purpose.
"Writing or reviewing a mission statement changes you because it forces you to think through your priorities deeply and carefully, and to align your behaviour with your beliefs."
Dr. Stephen R. Covey
Here is the video link to "80th Birthday - 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" with Dr. Covey introducing the value of creating your end in mind and a personal mission statement.
The reflective and introspective process of creating a personal mission statement is a form of mindfulness and self-care. As life evolves over the years, I review and evolve my statement accordingly. The last time I reviewed and rewrote my personal mission statement was 5 years ago when I quit my 15-year corporate career. Here is what my current personal mission statement looks like now.
It may look simple, but each phrase guides me in decisions and behaviour in daily life.
Live without regret reminds me to...
Be open to more opportunities and adventure.
Stay true to myself and express myself authentically.
Be present daily to live each experience fully, learning from the good and bad.
Love with all your heart reminds me to...
Appreciate the people in my life.
Express and voice the care and gratitude I feel for those I care about.
To be open and accepting of the care I receive from others.
Allow for self-love and self-care.
Laugh with joy and lightness reminds me to...
Be spontaneous!
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Don't take life and myself so seriously.
Embrace a proactive and abundant mindset.
Leave a legacy others are inspired to follow reminds me to...
Take chances to live my dreams.
Be brave to make a difference and help others.
Believe in myself and share my value and gifts with the world.
In the past five years since starting my own consulting business, I battle imposter syndrome daily. Without the safety net of a corporate title, the self-doubt voices in my head are deafening.
"Am I skilled enough to accept that huge contract?"
"What expertise do I have to offer this Brand General Manager as an executive coach?"
"Am I professional enough to create the solutions for this big global company?"
"Why would anyone want to hire me as a motivational speaker?"
"What value do I have to offer if I start a blog? Why would anyone be interested?"
But then I pause, breathe and listen to my heart where my passion and purpose live. It reminds me that I am accomplished and knowledgeable and do not need the validation of a corporate title. My titles, talents and accomplishments in life matter more.
Self-doubt lives in fragments of thought but purpose lives in the constant beating of the heart.
Au Yin Chan
The blog you are reading now and my AYCLimitless.com website took 2 years of battling with my imposter syndrome before coming to fruition. With each blog, I feel a twinge of imposter syndrome before hitting the publish button. I rely on the superpower of my purpose each week to find the courage to create each post.
I hope this blog will help you to find your superpower personal purpose to live brighter and bolder with self-belief.
If you would like to give writing a personal mission statement a try, here are some helpful tools for you to try:
The Five-Step Plan for Creating a Personal Mission Statement - Online Article - livecareer.com
Personal Mission Statement Builder - Online Tool - FranklinCovey.com
The Legacy That Matters Most
As my Generation Z sons make their way into the world to begin their life adventures, I hope they will be brave in battling their imposter syndrome moments. The plans and dreams they have for themselves are the missions I hope they bravely chase after and achieve.
"We detect rather than invent our missions in life."
Viktor Frankl
I hope they embrace the successes and failures that are part of life's journey of learning with courage. Most of all, I hope I can guide them to see their value and detect their life's missions.
I would love to hear your comments!
What is self-doubt holding you back from?
How do you overcome your imposter syndrome moments?
What is your life's mission?
Thank you for spending time on AYCLimitless.com
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Great post! My imposter syndrome is holding me back from creating my own youtube channel 😂
I've been wanting to do it since graduating from uni, but I guess I feel like the video quality won't be good enough, content will be boring, nobody's going to want to watch, etc.
Recently I am feeling a bit more encouraged to start my own channel though. Just been thinking that I should do it for myself because I enjoy process of creating videos/content, whether or not I get viewers shouldn't matter as much, not at this point anyway.