5 Things I Wish I knew at the Start of My Career

Career paths are full of twists, turns, ups and downs and may even have a cliff or two in the middle. Here are five things I wish I knew at the start of my career that would have saved me a lot of stress and heartache.

How did you start your career path? Was it your choice or was it chosen for you?

Did you take a career assessment test in high school to determine possible trades and careers that best suited you?

Did you choose your career based on someone you admired or something that inspired you in your youth?

My career path started with chasing a childhood dream. At the age of 11, I dreamt of becoming a fashion designer as I handmade clothes for my dolls. By the age of 16, I was even more committed to what I believed was my lifetime passion. I was designing and sewing my own wardrobe and creating items for my family and friends.

By the time I was 22, I was fully invested after graduating from fashion design in college. I was having some early success being featured in new designer competitions and I even had my own consignment fashion label by the time I was 24.

When the dream met with the reality of becoming a fashion designer in real life, I discovered it was not the path I wanted.

It took me 2 years of feeling stuck and unhappy in custom designing and dress-making to realize that life behind bolts of fabrics and dress dummies was not the dream anymore. It was simply the wrong fit. (Pun intended.)

Typically, we choose our field of study in our late teens in preparation for university and college applications. It's like a probability guess as we are still growing into young adulthood.

If we are lucky, we grow more passionate about our chosen field. If we discover it's not what we had in mind, it's a stressful process of giving ourselves permission to pivot.

Reflecting back over 30 years in my career there have been many anxiety-filled pivots when I thought it would be the end of the world. Instead, they only lead to new pathways and opportunities that have made my career meaningful.

Here are five things I wish I knew at the start of my career that would have saved me a lot of stress and heartache.

1. Be Ready for Real Life Feedback and How to Learn From It

I remember my first day at my first career-building job. I wanted to hit the road running and demonstrate that I was the best hire they could have chosen. I put so much pressure on myself to show my skills and knowledge. I asked too many questions that I thought were thoughtful. I gave too many opinions and suggestions without fully understanding the topic or project under discussion.

At the end of my first week, I expected a pat on the back from my manager and maybe some thumbs up from my colleagues for the contributions I gave. Instead, I was given a reality check and constructive feedback.

I was promptly reminded of what I needed to learn about the company, the job and the performance expectations. I felt embarrassed and humiliated, but that was exactly what I needed to hear. So I took the chip off my shoulder and opened myself up to learning new skills to perform effectively.

Resist the fight or flight instinct to hide under your cubicle and feel sorry for yourself or become defiantly dismissive and accuse others of being wrong. These reactions will only prove that you are not ready to build your career.

Try the following tips to get the most out of valuable feedback and show your ability to reflect and grow.

• Avoid getting defensive and taking feedback personally.

• Listen to feedback openly and don't feel the need to respond immediately.

• Take a moment to reflect calmly from the perspective of your boss.

• Ask questions to gain a clear understanding of behavioural and performance expectations.

• Ask where or whom you can get support and assistance from if necessary.

• Establish a timeline for regular check-ins or statuses to assess your progress and next steps.

• Thank the feedback giver for taking the time to provide their valuable feedback.

Be grateful for feedback regardless if it is constructive or positive, solicited or unsolicited. It is a gift for your growth and development.

2. It's Not a Sprint, It's a Marathon

Societal norms foster young adults' expectations of quick success in their careers. Many that I have interviewed and coached expect to be promoted within the first year in their role.

To make matters worse, many company structures like to foster a competitive culture to encourage more productivity. It's easy to get caught up in the need for speed to get pay increases, job advancement and recognition from others.

The truth is that the first year of your career is filled with learning curves, mistakes and successes too. It's a time for growing your life skills which should not be compared to others because we all have different abilities and life experiences.

Try the following tips to make sure you are running at the right pace for you.

• Set SMART goals for yourself to grow skills and achieve small wins at work.

• Ask for feedback from your manager on how you are performing to expectations in your role.

• Keep a weekly performance pros and cons log and review it monthly to set goals for improvement and to recognize your achievements.

• Seek out mentorship and coaching support available in your company.

Just like running a marathon, make sure you stay in top condition and take care of your mental, emotional and physical health.

3. If You Are on the Wrong Bus, Get Off

There will be times in your career when you realize you've gotten on the wrong bus or the bus decides to change its route. If that happens, know when to get off the bus.

In my first management role, I was responsible for supervising two fashion retail stores that were located in the same shopping mall. I had established a good trustful relationship with the two retail teams and with the mall management over the year I was in that role. I loved the teams and the company that I had worked with for over 2 years.

One morning I received a call from head office with instructions to vacate one of the shops in the mall by midnight that same day. There was no prior discussion or planning. They wanted me to breach the tenant's lease.

I was instructed to pack up as much merchandise as I could and move it discretely out of the store into a delivery truck in the parking lot. I had to tell staff that they would be relocated to another store location effectively the next day.

By store closing time, a staff member and I moved the last rolling rack of stock and we were approached by a mall security guard that I knew. I had to lie and give him a story about transferring merchandise to another store. He bought the story and bid us good night.

Both my colleague and I had tears streaming down our faces as we loaded the rack onto the delivery truck. In a single day, I had broken my integrity with my staff, the mall management and myself.

Here are signs that you are on the wrong bus and need to get off:

• When the company values and principles of operation are not aligned with your own.

• When you are not treated with common politeness and respect.

• When the work culture is not aligned with your values and principles.

• When you feel no sense of gratification or joy in your work.

• When you feel stress and anxiety more than satisfaction and achievement.

It's terrifying to get off the wrong bus when you're not sure when the next one will be coming along. But when you consider how much time we devote to work, it may be better for our overall health to leave environments that cause high stress and anxiety sooner rather than later.

4. Know Your True Worth

In my blog, Books That Inspire Action: Episode 1 - "The Path Made Clear", I share valuable insights on self-worth from Oprah Winfrey's book as follows:

"I value my work and myself, and I decided that no matter how much or how little money I made, I would never let that define my worth."

"I am not my salary."

"Sometimes knowing what you don't want is as valuable as knowing what you do want."

"Know the joy of doing what you love and never stop pursuing it."

- Oprah Winfrey

Societal norms promote status and worth through curated social media feeds and consumer marketing campaigns that define success by the handbag or watch we wear. When we are young and earning our first paychecks, it's easy to fall prey to conform to these stereotypes and expectations.

Here are some tips to help you stay clear on your worth:

• Commit to performing to the best of your abilities regardless of job title or pay.

• Your goals, dreams and passions are worthy of your time and energy so make time for them consistently.

• Treat others with respect and expect to be treated with respect.

• You are human and it's okay to make mistakes. Don't obsess over them or beat yourself up with negative self-talk. Learn the lessons and move on.

The more you value your worth, the more it grows.

5. Reflect and Re-align Often

* The PDF of "My Personal S.W.O.T Analysis" is available for download on the Resources page of AYCLimitless.com

In my blog, Build the Self-Confidence to Pursue Your Dreams, I recommend creating a personal S.W.O.T. Analysis to become objectively aware of your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats in the pursuit of your dreams.

I recommend the same tool can be used for your professional S.W.O.T. Analysis. Self-awareness helps you to be prepared for growth and opportunities. It's a proactive way to plan and build your career path.

Here is a short video from MindTools.com on how to conduct a Personal SWOT Analysis.

The Detours are Worth Exploring

When I gave up on my childhood dream career of becoming a fashion designer, I felt shame, disappointment and guilt for the years I had invested. But letting go of the childhood attachment allowed me to discover and grow other strengths and abilities.

That first shift in my career path has led to other pivots which allowed me to hone in on other natural talents and find a purpose for a lifetime of meaningful work I am proud of.

In today's evolving corporate landscape and disappearing career fields, the traditional ladder-climbing career path is changing. Instead, the modern career path is full of twists and turns as we take control to define our own way.

I leave you with an insightful video on why your career doesn't have to follow a straight line.

Here are more insightful articles for navigating your career path:

12 Signs You've Picked the Wrong Career and What to do Next - Online Article - careercontessa.com

We reviewed over 60 studies about what makes for a dream job. Here’s what we found. - Online Article - 80000hours.org

“What I Wish I’d Known When I Started My Career”: 11 Innovators Tell Us - Online Article - ideas.ted.com

I would love to hear your comments!

What is your dream career and are you in it?

What challenges have you faced in establishing your career and how did you overcome them?

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